Last movie you saw?

Yes, I saw the one from 2011. It was also very dumb. I haven't seen the original Mechanic with Charles Bronson, but it wouldn't surprise me if it's more entertaining.

Speaking of modern remakes of Charles Bronson movies, there's a remake of Death Wish coming out later this year with Bruce Willis. My secret shame is that I love the Charles Bronson Death Wish movies. They are so terrible, they are amazing. Nobody kills punks who beat up old ladies like Bronson. My favorite is Death Wish 3, where Bronson wages an all out street war on the punks, including busting out a Browning .30 cal machine gun to mow them down. And it has a hilarious villain named "The Giggler."

 

lolololol... so many video games must've come from the Death Wish series. I remember Columbo and Death Wish were infamous rotations on FOX Saturday Matinee Movie in the 90s. I fucking loved it as a kid.

Didn't know it was getting a remake. Kinda wish Antoine Fuqua was doing it instead of Eli Roth. Bruce Willis is arguably too suave for the first time in his career. Charles Bronson is kinda iconic as the angry, old, out of shape, yet unstoppable, vigilante killer.

 

This has been playing on HBO all month so I've been catching pieces. Each time I see it I'm less and less sympathetic to these people. They are just masochistic version of canned big game hunters.

On a good day, paying $100k for a canned hand-held climb of Everest shouldn't be a respected achievement. On a bad day, these idiots are getting themselves and rescuers killed.

 

The Big Short

They took a boring idea and made it fun to watch. Assholes all around. These short-sellers were paid what they were owed from tax-payer bailout money. They should've been entitled to shit because the banks were insolvent.

Good movie though.

8/10

 

Yes, even the "heroes" in that movie were just opportunistic scumbags who exploited a bad situation.

 

Magnificent Seven - modern 2016 remake

Starts off a bit slow and boring, but the action scenes later in the movie, Chris Pratt being funny, and Denzel being his usual awesome self mostly make up for it.

I tried to watch the original Seven Samurai from the 1950s one time, but it was so boring and the acting was so cartoonish and bad that I fell asleep. This was definitely way better than that old timey garbage.

I'm just waiting for alterego to come in and give one of his fan favorite lectures about how I'm an uncultured heathen for not liking a "classic" movie that has aged very poorly.

7/10

 

I'm sure you're referring to Toshiro Mifume's character, Kikuchiyo. There is an important reason in the story why he's behaving that way. He's trying to boast to present himself as a great samurai warrior and hide his background when in reality he was from a poor farming background just like the looting farmers he criticizes. That's why he becomes so enraged when he catches farmers looting the dead and hiding food and resources from the samurai protecting them. The other samurai can see through his boasting and exaggerations.

 

You watch movies to kill time and have some light entertainment. That's why you don't like Seven Samurai.

 

I drink beer while I watch movies and I say dude and bro constantly. I could never understand your classic art house movies.

 

Not gonna lie... I'm a philistine with films that don't scale well to modern displays. I couldn't even get myself to watch Top Gun because the quality looks so bad. Not sure if it's just a bad print used in the Netflix transfer.

 

Passengers

I thought it was a good mix of sci-fi and romance. Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence had good chemistry. I probably would have made the same difficult choice to wake someone else up.

7.5/10

 

I think the bigger question is how did you as a human male live through the 80's and 90's without seeing Die Hard? You never even caught it on cable?

 

I still haven't seen Die Hard.

 

Please tell me you've at least seen Commando

 

This is an tremendous breach of protocol.