It comes on cable from time to time and I would usually just change the channel. This time I actually watched it and it was so amazingly bad, but so hilarious at the same time. Truely a gem of badgoodness.
Assassins Creed Not as outright laughably terrible as you might think. Just really boring. It's a side story that's of no consequence to the games. There's no depth to any of the characters, so you don't really care what happens. It's also got the same problem as the games where the action packed stuff in the past is sort of interesting, but the near future stuff with the Animus is boring and distracting. Also why is everything in this movie so dark and foggy all the time? There's so much darkness and fog, combined with the jumping back and forth between present and past, that you can't even really tell what's happening in most action scenes 4/10
Beauty and the Beast So Disney remade this classic tale of Stockholm Syndrome and bestiality. Large parts of this movie were a shot for shot remake of the cartoon, just done with CGI and live action. When they did try to add new songs and scenes, they were bad. The beast has a new solo song that was so corny I busted out laughing. Overall, the movie wasn't bad or good, it was just sort of meh. I really have no idea why this movie even exists other than as a cash grab for Disney. It's basically the same movie as the cartoon, but the cartoon worked better. 5/10
Just as an FYI, it exists because Disney has already started doing live action movies of their classics. Alice in Wonderland (Johnny Depp) Maleficent Cinderella Jungle Book Those already came out before Beauty and the Beast live action. They're also doing live action Lion King.. who knows why. I think Mulan is next to release the list. I think it's supposed to come out next year or so.
Rogue One I really liked this movie. It was a bit slow to get out of its own way, but the battle scenes are awesome and it was probably the darkest/bleakest Star Wars movie other than Empire Strikes Back. It's not really a kids' movie at all, more of a straight up action/sci-fi movie. This was exactly the kind of movie I was hoping they would make when Lucas lost control of the franchise. It also didn't have that rehash/retread/remix feeling of Force Awakens. It felt like something legitimately new and different even though it was technically a prequel. 9/10
I think multiple standalone spinoff Star Wars movies are planned. I think movies featuring Han Solo, Vader, Obi-Wan, and perhaps Yoda would be strong possibilities. I also wouldn't be surprised if they made one with Ahsoka Tano given she's very popular in the animated series and is definitely not from the typical Jedi path. She technically isn't at Jedi anyway, although she's probably on the same ability level as all but the most elite masters given how much combat experience with elite enemies she has had.
I doubt we'd see an Ashoka Tano film since it's never been mentioned. What do you think happened her? The ending they left indicates she either fought Darth Vader to the death or she joined him. I suppose she died either way.
Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies This was bad, none of the jokes worked and after an hour I was so bored I actually turned it off. Tried to fit into that horror-comedy genre and failed badly, as I didn't even manage to finish it this has to get a 0/10. The Lazarus Effect Wasn't a bad film, had at least one good jump that caused my wife so spill her drink all over herself so that gets it an extra point. It was pretty easy to see where the film was going from the outset but the acting was good enough that it didn't feel cheap or corny at any points so it gets a 6/10. Ghostbusters (2016) In all honesty I don't think this film deserves all of the bad press it gets, it you don't compare it to the originals it holds up pretty well as a stand alone entity and I don't remember myself being bored at any point. Of the cast I think the blonde one was the only one who was entertaining, the rest can easily be forgotten but the film had enough action to keep me interested and seeing all of the cameos was nice. Unless I missed him there was no Rick Moranis but everyone else was there, I would give this film a solid 7/10.
I've become really tired of having not been out to the cinema much in recent years. So many films missed that people said were great. When Logan came out I was determined to see it, and I'm so glad I did. I haven't seen the second X-Men trilogy, or The Wolverine, but that doesn't matter. This is a standalone title and it's fucking great. It never really felt like a comic book or superhero film and just felt like a real film. Filled with great acting, great cgi, a couple of blindsides, and one unintentionally hilarious part near the end that had me and my mates in tears from laughing. We literally had to stifle our laughter while people around us were crying. Odd, but funny. 8/10. Would see again.
Highlander 2: The Quickening Oh man, this fuckin' movie. It's one of the most incredible goodbad movies I've seen. A true shit cinema masterpiece. They got Sean Connery and an inflation adjusted budget of like $100M. The first Highlander is a cult classic with a cool soundtrack. And this is what they made.
XXX The Return of Xander Cage This was an aggressively stupid movie. I wish I could pinpoint the moment where it went full retard. Maybe it was Vin Diesel skiing on top of trees in a forest. Or Vin Diesel in a submarine motorcycle chase. But I can't pinpoint an exact moment because the whole movie was retarded. Also they act like the return of Xander Cage is this big fuckin deal. But how many people even watched the the first XXX movie? This was such a cheesy Vin Diesel vanity project that only got made because the Fast and Furious movies print money. The only good part was Nina Dobrev. She's a 10/10. So fucking hot. I guess the Chinaman with his karate moves was alright. But the rest of the movie is complete garbage.
That might be racist! Also karate is Japanese and Tony Jaa is Malaysian. How the fuck do you not know Donny Yen by name?
Vin Diesel is a man of many talents. He makes retarded movies that somehow make boatloads of money. But did you know that he also sings?
holy lolz... i jumped down this rabbit hole and watched 4 vin diesel singing videos. how is this not a meme?
The Founder McDonald's was started by two brothers who invented a really efficient way to make burgers. They didn't want to expand too much because they were worried the quality of the food would suffer. Ray Kroc, a sleazy blender salesman, observed their burger making method and convinced them to let him handle franchising. He then proceeded to hijack their business, rapidly expand, and then cut them out. All they got was about $1M each after taxes for starting one of the world's most profitable corporations. They were supposed to get a yearly percentage of company profits, but Kroc refused to honor their verbal agreement. He left them with their original restaurant, but they couldn't use the McDonald's name, and he opened a McDonald's right next to it which drove it out of business. Basically the movie makes Ray Kroc look like a gigantic douche who stole someone elses business. Also the brothers were absolutely right. The food became mediocre when McDonald's got too big.
Worth a watch? I remember an older guy at my first job saying McDonald's was considered a legit restaurant when he was a kid. Families would actually make plans to go eat as a night out. Now it's a destination of last resort lol.